What's in Your Control in Addiction Recovery

David Mahler • November 9, 2023

Addiction recovery is a challenging journey that requires not only determination but also a deep understanding of the factors that contribute to successful recovery. While addiction itself may feel overwhelming and beyond your control, it's crucial to recognize that there are aspects of the recovery process that you have the power to influence. By understanding what's in your control, you can take charge of your recovery and increase your chances of long-term success.


In this blog post, we will explore the elements of addiction recovery that you can actively manage. We will delve into the importance of acceptance, taking responsibility, and setting realistic goals as crucial steps in the recovery process. Additionally, we will discuss techniques that can help you maintain control during your journey, such as engaging in healthy activities, building a support network, and practicing mindfulness and stress management.


We will also address a common challenge in addiction recovery: relapses. While relapses can be discouraging, it's essential to understand that they are a part of the process and can be effectively managed. We will provide insights into how to handle relapses, including developing a plan for dealing with them and seeking help when needed.


Lastly, we will explore the strategies needed to sustain recovery in the long term. Implementing healthy lifestyle changes, continuing with therapy and support groups, and staying committed to personal growth and development are key to maintaining sobriety and preventing relapse.

By understanding what's in your control and actively working towards your recovery, you can pave the way for a healthier, happier life free from addiction. So, let's dive in and discover the power you have to shape your own recovery journey.


Understanding Addictions: The Basics


Addiction is a complex condition that affects millions of individuals worldwide. To understand what's in your control in addiction recovery, it's crucial to have a foundational understanding of the basics of addiction.


What is Addiction?


Addiction is a chronic brain disorder characterized by compulsive drug or substance use, despite the negative consequences it may have on an individual's physical, mental, and social well-being. It is considered a brain disease because it alters the brain's structure and function, leading to persistent changes in behavior and perception.


Common Types of Addictions


Addiction can manifest in various forms, including substance addictions (such as alcohol, drugs, or tobacco) and behavioral addictions (such as gambling, gaming, or shopping). It's important to recognize that addiction is not limited to illegal substances but can also involve legal substances or activities.


Causes and Risk Factors


Addiction is influenced by a combination of genetic, environmental, and psychological factors. While some individuals may have a genetic predisposition to addiction, environmental factors, such as exposure to substance abuse or traumatic experiences, can also contribute to its development. Additionally, certain mental health conditions, such as depression or anxiety disorders, can increase the risk of addiction.


The Cycle of Addiction


Understanding the cycle of addiction is essential for comprehending the challenges individuals face during recovery. The cycle typically consists of four stages:


  1. Experimentation: The initial stage where individuals may engage in substance use or addictive behaviors out of curiosity or social influence.
  2. Regular Use: As experimentation progresses, individuals may develop a pattern of regular substance use or engagement in addictive behaviors.
  3. Dependency: At this stage, individuals become physically and psychologically dependent on the substance or behavior. They may experience cravings, withdrawal symptoms, and an increasing inability to control their use.
  4. Addiction: The final stage characterized by a compulsive need for the substance or behavior, despite the negative consequences it brings. Individuals may prioritize their addiction over other aspects of their life, leading to severe disruptions in relationships, work, and overall well-being.

The Impact of Addiction on Mental and Physical Health


Addiction can have devastating effects on both mental and physical health. Substance abuse can lead to various health complications, including liver damage, cardiovascular problems, and impaired cognitive function. Additionally, addiction often co-occurs with mental health disorders, such as depression or anxiety, exacerbating the challenges faced by individuals in recovery.


By understanding the basics of addiction, including its definition, common types, causes, and the cycle of addiction, you can lay the groundwork for a comprehensive understanding of the recovery process. This knowledge will help you navigate the journey ahead with greater awareness and empower you to take control of your recovery.


Recognizing the Aspects of Addiction Recovery in Your Control


Addiction recovery is a multifaceted process that involves various aspects, some of which are within your control. By recognizing and understanding these aspects, you can actively engage in your recovery journey and increase your chances of achieving long-term sobriety. In this section, we will explore three key elements of addiction recovery that you have control over.


Acceptance of the Addiction


Acceptance is a fundamental step in addiction recovery. It involves acknowledging the reality of your addiction and coming to terms with its impact on your life. Acceptance allows you to move forward and take responsibility for your recovery. It's important to understand that acceptance does not mean resignation or condoning your past actions but rather recognizing the need for change and embracing the opportunity for growth.


Questions to consider:

  • How can you cultivate acceptance of your addiction?
  • What steps can you take to overcome denial and resistance?
  • How does acceptance empower you to take control of your recovery?

Taking Responsibility for Recovery


Taking responsibility for your recovery means recognizing that you are the primary agent of change in your life. It involves acknowledging that you have the power to make choices and take actions that will support your journey towards sobriety. Taking responsibility means actively participating in treatment programs, engaging in therapy, and making the necessary lifestyle changes to support your recovery. It also entails being accountable for your actions and choices, both during and after treatment.


Questions to consider:

  • How can you shift from a victim mentality to taking ownership of your recovery?
  • What steps can you take to become actively involved in your treatment and recovery process?
  • How does taking responsibility empower you to maintain control over your journey?

Setting Realistic Goals


Setting realistic goals is an essential aspect of addiction recovery. Goals provide direction and focus, helping you stay motivated and committed to your recovery journey. It's important to set goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART goals). By setting realistic goals, you can break down the recovery process into manageable steps and celebrate your achievements along the way.

Questions to consider:

  • How can you set realistic and achievable goals for your recovery?
  • What strategies can you use to stay motivated and committed to your goals?
  • How does goal setting contribute to your sense of control and progress in recovery?

By recognizing and embracing the aspects of addiction recovery that are within your control, such as acceptance, taking responsibility, and setting realistic goals, you can actively shape your journey towards lasting sobriety. These elements empower you to take charge of your recovery and establish a solid foundation for long-term success.


Techniques to Maintain Control During Recovery


Maintaining control during addiction recovery is crucial for long-term success. It involves adopting various techniques and strategies that empower you to stay focused, motivated, and resilient on your journey to sobriety. In this section, we will explore three effective techniques to help you maintain control during your recovery.


Engaging in Healthy Activities


Engaging in healthy activities is a powerful tool for maintaining control and promoting overall well-being during recovery. By replacing addictive behaviors with positive and fulfilling activities, you can redirect your energy and focus towards healthier alternatives. These activities can include exercise, hobbies, creative outlets, volunteering, or pursuing personal interests. Engaging in healthy activities not only helps occupy your time but also provides a sense of purpose, fulfillment, and enjoyment.


Questions to consider:

  • What healthy activities can you incorporate into your daily routine?
  • How can you identify activities that align with your interests and values?
  • How do healthy activities contribute to maintaining control and preventing relapse?

Building a Support Network

Building a support network is essential for maintaining control during addiction recovery. Surrounding yourself with individuals who understand and support your journey can provide a strong foundation of encouragement, guidance, and accountability. Your support network may consist of family members, friends, support groups, counselors, or mentors who can offer empathy, advice, and assistance when needed.

Questions to consider:

  • Who are the individuals in your life that can be part of your support network?
  • How can you actively seek out and connect with support groups or recovery communities?
  • What strategies can you use to cultivate and maintain healthy relationships within your support network?

Practicing Mindfulness and Stress Management

Practicing mindfulness and stress management techniques is vital for maintaining control and preventing relapse. Mindfulness involves being present in the moment, non-judgmentally observing your thoughts and emotions, and developing a deeper awareness of your triggers and cravings. By incorporating mindfulness into your daily life, you can better respond to stressors, manage challenging emotions, and make conscious choices that support your recovery.

Questions to consider:

  • What mindfulness techniques can you incorporate into your daily routine, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises?
  • How can you develop self-care practices that promote stress management and emotional well-being?
  • What resources or professional support can you seek to enhance your mindfulness and stress management skills?

By implementing techniques to engage in healthy activities, building a support network, and practicing mindfulness and stress management, you can maintain control and strengthen your recovery journey. These strategies provide you with the tools to navigate challenges, cope with cravings, and foster a positive and balanced lifestyle. Remember, maintaining control is an ongoing process that requires commitment, resilience, and a willingness to adapt and grow.


How to Handle Relapses


Recovery is a journey that may involve setbacks, and one common challenge during addiction recovery is experiencing relapses. It's important to understand that relapses are not a sign of failure but rather a part of the recovery process for many individuals. In this section, we will explore how to handle relapses effectively, regain control, and continue on the path to sobriety.

Understanding that Relapses are Part of the Process

Relapses can be disheartening, but it's essential to recognize that they are a common occurrence in addiction recovery. Rather than viewing a relapse as a failure, it can be seen as an opportunity for growth and learning. Understanding that relapses are part of the process allows you to approach them with compassion and without self-judgment. It's important to remember that recovery is a continuous journey, and setbacks can provide insights into areas that require additional support or changes in your approach.

Questions to consider:

  • How can you shift your perspective on relapses from failure to an opportunity for growth?
  • What are some common triggers or situations that may lead to relapse for you?
  • How does understanding the role of relapses in the recovery process help you regain control?

Developing a Plan for Dealing with Relapses

Having a plan in place to deal with relapses is crucial for minimizing their impact and regaining control. The first step is to identify the warning signs and triggers that may precede a relapse. This self-awareness allows you to recognize when you may be at risk and take proactive measures to prevent a full-blown relapse. Your plan may include strategies such as reaching out to your support network, attending therapy sessions, utilizing coping mechanisms, or seeking professional help.

Questions to consider:

  • What are the warning signs or triggers that indicate you may be at risk of a relapse?
  • How can you create a relapse prevention plan tailored to your specific needs and circumstances?
  • Who can you turn to for support and guidance when facing a potential relapse?


Seeking Help When Needed

Recognizing when to seek help is crucial during the relapse recovery process. It's essential to reach out to your support network, therapists, counselors, or healthcare professionals who can provide guidance and assistance. Seeking help allows you to receive the necessary support, adjust your treatment plan if needed, and regain control of your recovery journey.

Questions to consider:

  • What are the signs that indicate you may need professional help during a relapse?
  • How can you overcome any reluctance or stigma associated with seeking help?
  • What resources or professionals are available to assist you during a relapse?

Handling relapses requires resilience, self-compassion, and a proactive approach. By understanding the role of relapses, developing a plan to address them, and seeking help when needed, you can navigate through these challenging moments, regain control, and continue working towards your recovery goals. Remember, recovery is a process, and setbacks are opportunities for growth and renewed commitment to your sobriety.

Sustaining Recovery: Long-term Strategies

Sustaining recovery is a lifelong commitment that requires ongoing effort and dedication. It's important to establish long-term strategies that support your journey towards lasting sobriety. In this final section, we will explore three key strategies to help you sustain recovery in the long run.

Implementing Healthy Lifestyle Changes

Adopting a healthy lifestyle is crucial for maintaining recovery. This includes making positive changes in various aspects of your life, such as nutrition, exercise, sleep, and stress management. Engaging in regular physical activity helps to reduce cravings, improve mood, and enhance overall well-being. Prioritizing nutritious meals and adequate sleep supports your body's healing process and promotes emotional stability. Additionally, implementing effective stress management techniques, such as meditation, yoga, or journaling, helps you cope with life's challenges without turning to substances or addictive behaviors.

Questions to consider:

  • What healthy lifestyle changes can you make to support your recovery?
  • How can you incorporate regular exercise and physical activity into your routine?
  • What stress management techniques resonate with you and can be integrated into your daily life?

Ongoing Therapy and Support Groups


Continuing therapy and participating in support groups are invaluable resources for sustaining recovery in the long term. Therapy provides a safe space to explore underlying issues, develop coping mechanisms, and address any unresolved trauma that may contribute to addiction. Support groups, such as 12-step programs or other recovery communities, offer a sense of belonging, understanding, and accountability. Being surrounded by individuals who share similar experiences and challenges can provide ongoing support and encouragement throughout your recovery journey.


Questions to consider:


  • How can you ensure ongoing therapy or counseling sessions are a part of your recovery plan?
  • What support groups or recovery communities align with your needs and values?
  • How can you actively engage and contribute to these therapy and support group settings?

Staying Committed to Personal Growth and Development

Personal growth and development are essential for sustaining recovery and preventing relapse. Engaging in activities that promote self-improvement, such as education, skill-building, or pursuing new hobbies, allows you to focus on personal growth and expand your sense of identity beyond addiction. Setting new goals, learning new skills, and exploring your passions not only provide a sense of fulfillment but also help to build a meaningful and purposeful life in recovery.

Questions to consider:

  • What areas of personal growth and development are important to you?
  • How can you continuously challenge yourself and set new goals in recovery?
  • What steps can you take to explore new interests and expand your horizons?

By implementing healthy lifestyle changes, continuing therapy and support group involvement, and staying committed to personal growth and development, you can sustain your recovery for the long term. Remember, recovery is an ongoing process, and these strategies serve as pillars of support and empowerment as you navigate the challenges and joys of a life free from addiction. Embrace the journey and celebrate your progress along the way.


By David Mahler July 15, 2026
Because there are similarities, many people assume they are essentially the same thing. Others mistakenly believe that recovery coaching is simply sponsorship for hire. In reality, sponsors and recovery coaches serve different purposes, bring different strengths to the recovery process, and often help individuals in very different ways. Understanding those differences can help people make informed decisions about the type of support they may need at various stages of their recovery journey. The truth is that recovery is rarely a one size fits all process. Just as no two people arrive at recovery in exactly the same way, no two people maintain recovery in exactly the same way. Some individuals thrive with sponsorship alone. Others benefit from the additional structure and support a recovery coach can provide. Many find that a combination of supports creates the strongest foundation for long term success. Why the confusion exists Part of the confusion stems from the fact that both sponsors and recovery coaches often have lived experience with addiction and recovery. Both may share their stories. Both may provide encouragement during difficult moments. Both may help individuals stay focused on their recovery goals. Both may challenge unhealthy thinking and celebrate personal victories. From the outside looking in, the roles can appear remarkably similar. Yet when we look deeper, important distinctions begin to emerge. Sponsors and recovery coaches approach recovery from different perspectives, operate within different frameworks, and focus on different aspects of a person's journey. Neither role is better than the other. They are simply designed to meet different needs. The role of a sponsor For generations, sponsorship has been one of the cornerstones of Twelve Step recovery fellowships such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and Narcotics Anonymous (NA). A sponsor is typically someone who has achieved sustained recovery and has worked through the Twelve Steps. They volunteer their time to help guide another person through the same process. Sponsors are not therapists, counselors, or clinicians. They are peers who offer guidance based on their own recovery experience and their understanding of the Twelve Step program. Their primary role is to help someone navigate the recovery process within the fellowship. Sponsors often help individuals work through the Twelve Steps, understand recovery literature, stay connected to meetings, develop accountability, apply spiritual principles, learn from shared experiences, and navigate challenges in early recovery. One of the greatest strengths of sponsorship is hope. When someone enters recovery feeling defeated, ashamed, or uncertain, they can look at a sponsor and see living proof that recovery is possible. The sponsor has walked a similar road. They understand the struggles, the setbacks, and the victories because they have experienced them firsthand. That type of lived experience is incredibly valuable and has helped millions of people achieve and maintain recovery. The emergence of recovery coaching While sponsorship has existed for decades, recovery coaching is a relatively newer profession that has grown significantly over the past twenty years. As addiction treatment and recovery support services evolved, professionals began recognizing that many individuals needed help navigating challenges that extended beyond treatment programs, support groups, and recovery meetings. People needed support rebuilding their lives. They needed help setting goals, creating structure, repairing relationships, finding employment, accessing resources, and developing healthy routines. Simply put, they needed support not only in maintaining recovery but also in creating a meaningful life in recovery. This realization helped fuel the growth of recovery coaching. A Certified Addiction Recovery Coach is a trained professional who helps individuals identify goals, overcome obstacles, access resources, and build recovery capital, the internal and external strengths that support long term recovery. Recovery coaching is person centered, strengths based, and future focused. Rather than telling people what they should do, coaches help clients identify what they want for their lives and develop practical strategies for achieving it. The focus is not on directing a person's recovery journey. The focus is on helping them build one. What does a recovery coach actually do? One of the biggest misconceptions about recovery coaching is that coaches simply check in on clients or provide encouragement. While encouragement is certainly part of the process, effective recovery coaching goes much deeper. A recovery coach may help a client create a personalized recovery plan, develop structure and accountability, identify triggers and high risk situations, improve communication skills, rebuild family relationships, strengthen relapse prevention strategies, connect with treatment providers and community resources, build confidence and self esteem, set career, educational, and personal goals, establish healthier lifestyle habits, and develop a vision for the future. Recovery coaching is often described as helping people move from surviving to thriving. Recovery is about far more than simply removing a substance from one's life. It is about creating a life worth staying sober for. Recovery beyond the meeting room One of the greatest strengths of Twelve Step fellowships is that they provide connection, accountability, spiritual growth, and a community of people who understand addiction firsthand. However, many individuals discover that recovery involves more than attending meetings and working the steps. Eventually, life begins happening outside the meeting room. A person may need to rebuild trust with a spouse. A parent may need to repair a relationship with a child. Someone may need to return to work after treatment, create a daily routine, improve physical health, manage finances, or learn how to cope with stress without turning to substances. These challenges often require practical planning, problem solving, and ongoing support. This is where recovery coaching can be particularly valuable. Recovery coaches help individuals translate recovery principles into daily action. For example, someone may understand the importance of accountability but struggle to create structure in their day. Another person may be committed to recovery but feel overwhelmed by unemployment, transportation challenges, housing concerns, or family conflict. A recovery coach helps clients identify obstacles, develop realistic goals, create action plans, and build confidence as they move forward. The focus is not simply on staying sober today. The focus is on building a meaningful and sustainable life in recovery. Professional training and ethical standards Another important distinction between sponsors and Certified Addiction Recovery Coaches involves training and professional standards. Sponsors bring one of the most powerful tools available in recovery, lived experience. Their personal journey often provides hope, encouragement, and practical wisdom that cannot be learned in a classroom. Recovery coaches may also have lived experience, but they receive formal training designed to support individuals in a professional capacity. Certified Addiction Recovery Coaches are trained in areas such as motivational interviewing, active listening, ethical boundaries, recovery planning, communication skills, cultural competency, recovery capital development, and person centered support. Coaches are also expected to operate within a defined scope of practice. They do not diagnose mental health conditions. They do not provide therapy. They do not replace treatment professionals. Instead, recovery coaches help clients identify goals, remove barriers, access resources, and strengthen long term recovery. This professional framework helps ensure that coaching remains ethical, focused, and client centered. 5 questions to ask when choosing a recovery coach Not all recovery coaches have the same training, experience, or approach. If you are considering working with a recovery coach, asking the right questions can help ensure a good fit. What training and certifications do you hold? Look for coaches who have completed recognized recovery coach training programs and maintain professional standards. Do you have experience working with my specific challenges? Recovery journeys vary. Some coaches specialize in substance use disorders, while others focus on family recovery , executive coaching , faith based recovery, young adults, or relapse prevention. What does a typical coaching relationship look like? Ask how often sessions occur, whether coaching is in person or virtual, and what type of accountability and support is provided between sessions. How do you work alongside sponsors, therapists, and treatment providers? Effective coaches understand that recovery often requires a team approach and should be willing to collaborate within appropriate boundaries. How do you help clients set and achieve goals? A strong recovery coach should be able to explain how they help clients create structure, overcome obstacles, and build a meaningful life in recovery. The right coach is not someone who tells you what to do. The right coach helps you discover where you want to go and supports you in getting there. When a sponsor may be enough For many individuals, sponsorship may provide exactly the support they need. Someone who is actively engaged in a Twelve Step fellowship, has strong family support, stable employment, healthy routines, and access to community resources may find that sponsorship provides sufficient guidance and accountability. Many people have achieved decades of successful recovery through sponsorship and fellowship alone. That reality deserves recognition and respect. The goal of recovery coaching is not to replace sponsorship. The goal is to provide additional support when needed. When additional coaching support may help There are also situations where coaching can provide unique value. A person may be transitioning home from treatment and feeling overwhelmed. A professional may be concerned about balancing recovery with a demanding career. A parent may be struggling to rebuild trust within the family. Someone may feel isolated and uncertain about creating structure in daily life. Others may need help navigating housing, employment, transportation, healthcare, or community resources. In these situations, recovery coaching can provide practical support that complements the work being done with a sponsor. Family members may also benefit from coaching. Addiction affects entire family systems, and loved ones often struggle with confusion, fear, resentment, guilt, and exhaustion. Family recovery coaching can help loved ones establish healthy boundaries, improve communication, and better understand the recovery process. Recovery works best as a team effort One of the greatest myths in recovery is that people must figure everything out alone. The reality is that successful recovery is often built through connection. Sponsors, recovery coaches, therapists, physicians, clergy, treatment providers, support groups, family members, and recovery communities can all play important roles. Each brings unique strengths. A sponsor may help someone work the Twelve Steps. A therapist may help address trauma and mental health concerns. A physician may address medical needs. A recovery coach may help create structure, accountability, and forward momentum. Together, these supports can create a powerful network of recovery capital. No single person needs to fill every role. It’s not about choosing sides Unfortunately, discussions about sponsors and recovery coaches are sometimes framed as a competition. They shouldn’t be. The recovery landscape has evolved significantly over the past several decades. Today, individuals have access to more support options than ever before. Sponsors remain a vital part of Twelve Step recovery. Their lived experience, guidance, and commitment to helping others continue to change lives every day. At the same time, Certified Addiction Recovery Coaches provide an additional layer of structured, person centered support that helps individuals navigate the practical realities of rebuilding a life in recovery. Recovery is not about choosing sides. It is about finding the support system that helps a person grow, heal, and move forward. Because recovery is about more than abstinence. It is about purpose. It is about connection. It is about creating a life that no longer requires escape.
summer bbq recovery coaching
By David Mahler June 4, 2026
Learn how a recovery coach can support individuals navigating summer social events, vacations, and high-risk situations. Read more about managing recovery during summer.
By David Mahler December 23, 2025
The holidays can be a beautiful time of connection, reflection, and celebration — but for those in recovery, they can also bring heightened stress, emotional triggers, and unexpected challenges. Alcohol and substances are often woven into holiday traditions, social gatherings, and family dynamics, making this season especially difficult to navigate while staying sober. The good news is that staying sober through the holidays is absolutely possible with intention, preparation, and support. Protecting your recovery during this time isn’t selfish — it’s essential. The Power of Accountability One of the most important tools for getting through the holidays sober is having an accountability partner. This could be a trusted friend, sponsor, sober coach, or fellow person in recovery. Accountability creates connection and reminds you that you don’t have to face challenges alone. How a Sober Coach Can Help A sober coach can provide personalized support, help you anticipate triggers, and assist in creating realistic plans for navigating events, family gatherings, and emotional stressors. Plan Ahead — Don’t Wing It Planning ahead is one of the strongest defenses against relapse. Before attending any holiday event, ask yourself who will be there, how long you’ll stay, and what might trigger you. Always Have an Exit Strategy Give yourself permission to leave early. Staying sober is more important than staying polite. Skip Events If They’re Too Risky If a gathering feels unsafe or triggering, it’s okay to decline. Boundaries are acts of self-respect. Set Clear Boundaries You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to choose yourself. Know Your Triggers and Use Grounding Tools Use grounding techniques like the 5-4-3-2-1 sensory method and controlled breathing to calm your nervous system. Journal Through the Holidays Writing allows you to process emotions, release stress, and reflect on gratitude. Take Care of Your Body Get enough sleep, nourish yourself, and stay physically active — even short walks help. Stay Connected — Don’t Isolate Attend recovery meetings and reach out to your support network.  Protect Your Recovery Your recovery comes first. The holidays will pass, but your sobriety is worth protecting.